Wednesday, July 31, 2013

An Adult!Verde Lemon -- Fall Deeply, Darkly

Character: Adult!Verde

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

OC: [Name]

Inspiration: I have a soft spot for geeky intellectuals.  Even the asshole ones like Verde, haha :)

There is nothing more terrifying than being in love.  It is an emotion that isn't really an emotion, but rather a living thing that rises up within a person, sometimes so strongly, so willfully that it cannot possibly be quenched.  It cannot be tamed.  Cannot be understood.  It just is, like the freshness of an autumn morning or the wild crash of waves upon a white shore.
Love is forever and yet it is so, so short.  Love is grasping for something that it always just out of reach, always just tipped far enough away to really want it, to really need it.  Love is sacrifice, love is young, old, new, rough, bare, raw.  Forgiving.  And yet sometimes, love isn't always as stark as all that.  Sometimes it's subtler, shallower, harder to see.  Like the beginning of a gasp or the light caress of fingertips over skin. 
You tilt your head and the worlds tilts with you, simply because you are intoxicated by the burnished, exulted feeling of skin pressed against yours.  Your head aches just a little because you had quite a bit to drink the night before.  Your head also aches because you are afraid.  Love is terrifying.  It is terrifying even now, as you press yourself against the body of the man you've fallen for and wonder what he will say when he wakes up.  When he realizes that he is naked and you are naked and there can only be one reason for it.
You watch him carefully, taking in the soft expression of sleep as it brushes over his cheeks, his forehead, his mouth.  The sun filters slowly into the room, making his green hair alight into glorious hues of viridian and gold and emerald.  You want to touch his hair, tunnel your fingers through it, but you are afraid to wake him up.  Your heart is beating so haphazardly that you wonder if it will beat right out of your chest.  So you settle for watching him, the way his chest raises and falls, the way the single white sheet dances over his hipbones, and his lashes, which frame dazzling eyes that remain thankfully closed.
But not for long, you know, and it is sooner rather than later that Verde begins to wake.  The first sign if his wrinkled brow, his frown as he realizes how badly his head is pounding.  Then a sigh, deep and sleepy.  Then the fluttering of lashes and the blurry green eyes that immediately lock onto yours.  He stares and you hold your breath, afraid and yet emboldened by the strange passion he had given you the night before.  It had been like nothing you'd ever experienced. 
He sighs again, but this time it is more of a growled harrumph.  His glasses lay resting on the table beside the bed and without them, he can't see very clearly.  But he knows it is you, he isn't stupid, and he remembers being with you the night before.  He'd remembered even before he opened his eyes to find you curled up just out of his reach, for you'd shifted away from him as sleep began to abandon him.
"You're still here," he mutters, and watches a blush spread over your cheeks.  You try to keep it down but you can't, because the expectant way he speaks makes you unsure, hesitant.  You hate it, hate that he is already forming distance between the both of you even when he's only been awake a matter of moments.
It makes you angry enough to respond as though you aren't blushing, as though you aren't afraid of what comes next.  You lift yourself up and don't care when the sheet drops away from your upper body, or when Verde's eyes flash down to take in the sight of you.  You frown at him and tell him, "Of course I'm still here.  I'm not some whore who comes and goes as you please." 
He narrows his eyes at you, but without his glasses Verde's would-be glare looks ridiculous, like a blind rat.  You can't possible stop the laughter that comes suddenly bubbling from you, nor can you resist allowing it to drain away your fear.  Fear is power, after all.  In an attempt to press your fear farther away, you lean carefully over the length of Verde's body and take his glasses from the bedside table.  When you are on your own side of the bed again, you find that he is staring at you with a strange look in his eyes.  You battle down another blush.
"Here," you tell him, enjoying the fact that you have finally found an excuse to touch him.  You brush away his hair and begin to slip his glasses onto his face, and he scoffs as you do but doesn't stop you.  "There, now.  You look more like yourself."  And yet you almost find yourself regretting that move, because now Verde can see.  He can see you, upper body completely bare as you sit before him in a tangle of legs.  He can see the way you're blushing again and the emotion in your eyes, and the rise and fall of every breath as it leaves your lungs.  He can see it all.
He watches you for a long moment, and then turns his chin away.  His cheeks are enveloped in the barest of pinks and it is adorable.  You want to smile, but you find that you cannot.  A thick emotion has taken hold of you and it crushes your lungs, your heart, into senseless flutters of nerves that pitter patter down your body.  You are terrified by that strength of this unknown emotion, terrified at how it seems to drag you down into something you aren't yet ready for.
How do you go about this?  You weren't sure before and you aren't sure now, as Verde glances at you from the corner of his eye.  You both remain there in awkward silence for a few drawn out moments, and then Verde seems to decide that enough is enough, and moves to get up.
He is sitting on the edge of the mattress, bare legs untangled from the sheets.  His eyes search for the white lab coat that must be littered with the other clothes strewn on the floor.  A mix of his and yours.  But you won't let him find that coat, and you won't let him go.  Not now and not ever, especially when you know that if you do, things between you will only get worse.  More awkward, more uncomfortable, more hollow.  So you shot forward just as he is about to stand, arms encircling his waist and pulling him back.
The suddenness of the movement makes him inhale sharply in surprise.  He crashes back, nearly falling backwards onto you as both of your balance becomes warped and clumsy.  His elbows shoot out to catch his fall and in the heat of the moment, one of them cuts directly into your stomach.  You gasp aloud as pain blossoms over your abdomen, frowning as you struggle to heave yourself back up.
"What was that for?" he asked, annoyed.  But his annoyance turns to embarrassment when he realizes that the sheet has forsaken the both of you and has billowed to the floor in a useless mess.  He jolts a hand down and snatches it back up, cheeks flaring a deep red.  He jerks his chin up and away from you again, but this time you are happy for it because you are naked too, and you feel yourself blushing just as hotly as him.
"I don't know," you mutter, but you do know, just as truly as you know your own name, or the memorized chemicals on the periodic table which had so impressed Verde when you first met.  And he knows you know, too, because after all he's been working with you for two whole years now and he knows more of you than he ever thought he would.
Silence once again perforates the air.  But it isn't awkward this time.  This silence is heavy but not uncomfortable, and Verde sighs out.  He shifts, then said slowly, "…About last night…"
About last night.  The three words that every woman curses.  The three words that you find yourself cursing now, even as you dread the remained of his sentence, which coincidentally never comes.  It hangs in the air between you like three long spikes, ridge and relentless.  It makes you cringe away from him, turning your face to the other side of the room, turning your body there as well.  Because you cannot possibly take the rejection.  It will crush you.  Rip you.  Damage you beyond recognition.
"Just say it," you beg, not looking at him.  Your voice comes out in the barest of whispers, the rawest of tones.  You are left gasping into the silence and wondering what he is thinking.  Your thoughts all cloister together, clawing at the recesses of your mind and wishing, not for the first time, that you could read into his.  Just say it, say it, say it. 
But he doesn't.  At least not the fierce rejection that you are expecting.  Instead, Verde mumbles something else, something that makes you freeze, makes your heart beat wildly, makes you wonder just what he is getting at.
"…I've never…been good at this," he mutters, staring at his hands.  His cheeks are flaring with pinks and reds and, it you would only look up at him, you would no doubt find it adorable.  But you don't, and he edges a glances at you before sighing and asking, "[Name].  Are you going to leave?"
You stop.  Breathing, seeing, thinking.  You stop because there is something in his voice that makes you stop.  Something that screams out like a small child bereft of love, like a squalling, motherless babe.  Like someone desperately hoping that the next few moments won't go entirely wrong.
You stop because you can't think to do anything else.  You stop and you sigh and you take a shaky breath, and then you whisper a short, jagged, desperate, "…Do you want me to?"  But even as you say it, you know.  You know his answer and you're already rejoicing, already crying out in happiness.
Verde blushes again.  He reached for your hand and wraps his long fingers around yours, squeezing you tightly.  Then he breathes and short, "No."  And it is like the sun shines mirrors directly into your heart, your eyes, your smile.  Your mouth curves up and you turn to him, finally.  You drink in the sight of him, the way he looks at you with those dark red cheeks, that way his eyes flash out at you, the way his body is angled towards you.  You grin.
"That's good," you say, nodding to yourself.  You ease forward, crawling over the short distance between him and you, and even though he blushes, Verde doesn't seem to mind when you press your lips against his.  "That's very good."
It is an anti-climatic kiss, but some things in life aren't dramatic and don't have any need to be.  And that's why, as you gently push him down into the pillows, you don't mind if your connection doesn't sing with energy or bliss.  It sings with something far greater anyhow.  Something that people are always, always searching for, and sometimes never find.  Happiness.  True, unadulterated happiness.
It is with reluctance that Verde falls.  He's never put much stock in emotions, especially not the ones that make the heart beat faster.  But with you it is infinitely different.  It's like the entire world has shifted and he has only just discovered that you are the reason for it.  And you are.  You came into his life and you changed him.
You bodies move together slowly, as though rediscovering last night's actions on their own terms.  You cannot deny that you are a little afraid of this, too.  Last night you were bolstered up with alcohol, and it made you strong.  But now that alcohol is gone and you are left gasping, wondering if what you're doing is right or wrong, will please him or make him uncomfortable.
You are so caught up in your misgivings, though, that it is a while before you realize that Verde is struggling from the exact same issue.  He has dedicated his entire life to his research and has tossed away the prospect of romance.  He has no idea what to do, and it is with a start that you understand how silly the two of you must look.  Both inexperienced, both unsure.  You start to laugh, and Verde looks a little offended.  He narrows his eyes.
"What?" he asks, wondering if perhaps he is holding you too tightly, or not tightly enough.  His mind immediately shifts his actions into categories and he tries to wheedle out what he has done to make you laugh, but you shake your head before he can come to a conclusion and tell him, "Nothing.  It's just…us.  We're both so…"  You don't even have to finish.  He knows, understands what you're saying.  The shortest shift of a smile overtakes his features before it is gone, and then he is suddenly rolling over, pushing you down into the mattress, kissing you.
Against your lips, he is whispering, "We'll figure this out together."  And it is so profound, so romantic, that you feel yourself swooning against the pillows.  Your arms reach up for him.  You pull him down, crash your mouth to his wildly, hook you leg over his waist and drag his hips down.  He gasps and moans, cheeks shattering with color as he feels your wet core rubbing against his hardening shaft.
"Oh…" he breathes, and it is such a simple declaration of pleasure of you kiss him harder, faster, hands moving down to capture his ass and jerk his hips against yours.  This time, his moan is even fiercer.
Being with Verde feels different during the day lit hours.  There is something that has changed between you, and it isn't just the lack of alcohol.  It is something else, something natural.  It has to do with the sunshine that explodes along the length of your bodies, and the soft sheets that frame you, protect you.  It has to do with the way time seems to stand still, and the way the room seems to chase away the darkness and the thoughts of rejection and of what would happen in the morning.  It is glorious and it makes you feel new, refreshed, clean.
You look up at Verde and he looks down at you and you smile, because your heart feels close to imploding from the happiness that has taken a hold of you.  You can't breathe, you are so happy.  Can see only him, feel only him.  When his hips roll against yours, this time on their own, you find yourself drowning against his skin and his lips and his whispers. 
"Verde…" you murmur, head thrown back just a little.  You pant, your chest heaving.  You are already naked and already ready for him, so much that it almost hurts.  You feel hollow without him inside you, like you are forever missing an intricate, important piece of yourself.  You want him to bury himself inside of you and take away your every thought.  But he doesn't, though he looks like he wants to, too.  He just hovers above you with an unsure expression etched over his face, his brow furrowed and his hand smoothes up and down your side.
"What's wrong?" you ask him, but you already know the answer.  He doesn't respond, just looks down at you and clears his throat.  It has never occurred to you that he might be just as nervous as you are.  Men aren't supposed to be nervous when it comes to sex.  But Verde is, and it makes him seem endearing to you now.  You reach up, your fingers brushing over his pink cheeks and then down along the length of his neck.  You hook your other leg around his hips, spreading yourself for him. 
Then you reach down, fingers brushing over his hard length.  He hisses just a little, because when you touch him it feels like his entire body is on fire.  He doesn't remember much of last night but he knows that he wouldn't mind revisiting this particularly moment.  He watches you guide his manhood into you with eyes that seem a little ashamed, a little uncertain.  But you blow away all his doubts when you bring his head down and you kiss him.  And into the kiss you whisper, "We'll figure this out together, right?"
He falls for you then, like he's never fallen for anything in his entire life.  You have your own throne, your own palace.  You are his queen, his lover, his goddess.  He kisses you back and then pushes himself into you, until his hips snap with yours and he is completely hilted inside.  And the feeling is so unlike anything he's ever known that Verde can't help the loud moan that spills from his lips, or the wild way his hips begin to move.
His thrusts shake you, drown you, make you want to explode.  You're memories of the night before are hazy at best, but you seem to remember being on the top and looking down at Verde.  This is so different, so very different.  Last night was the moon but today is the sun, bright and brilliant and beautiful and it pulls on you and shines over all your hidden emotions.
Verde groans and pins your hips to the mattress with one hand.  He falls into an easy rhythm, and with every passing moment he seems to grow within himself.  He becomes more certain, more sure of himself, more confident.  He watches you with deep emerald eyes that sear with lazy passion, and when every short, breathless moan you give, his pace increases.
You lock your ankles behind his back and scrape your nails down his spine, leaving little red welts to blossom down his skin.  The slight edge of pain makes him grind out another delicious groan.  You clutch at him tightly, hips molding with his as he rushes you both towards your end.  There is no time to wait, no reason to delay.  What you both want is freedom and that can only be received at the end of your long and tumultuous journey.
You come with a fierce moan that makes you breathless with wanton pleasure, indescribable happiness, that cascades like rivers through your veins.  His name is on your tongue and it feels good to scream it.  Your back arches right off the mattress as Verde snaps bruising thrusts against you and rams his cock deep, deep, deep within your core.  The sudden control he exhibits makes you pulse deliciously against him.  Your juices thrum against his length and he can't help but race towards his own release as a result of your own.
He is beautiful when he comes.  He buries his head against your shoulder and the pillow and he moans, his thrusts slowing and deepening, dragging out the zinging pleasure that rushes through you like an ocean.  Endless, recurrent, dazzling.
You gasp even when it is all over, even when Verde has pulled himself out of you and is laying at your side.  It will take you your entire life to catch your breath, and perhaps even longer.  You will never tire from him, not now that you have tasted what he has to offer, what he has always offered, unknowingly or not.
He brings you close against him and kisses your temple in a short display of affection.  The simple move makes your entire heart feel like it will beat right out of your chest.  You smile and wrap your arms around his slender waist.  You close your eyes.  Love is a wild animal, an untamed affair, knowledge.  And yet perhaps it is not as terrifying as you first thought. 



  1. Your writing is amazing. A perfect balance of description an dialogue. Even though it's smut, it has a certain elegance to it. Just your writing is perfect and beautiful.

  2. Random thought: I've never read a Shamal lemon. Can I request a Shamal x reader lemon? Dominant Shamal? //embarrassingly floats away o//o