Regarding 400 follower requests! I'll need some time to get the Dragon Age requests done, then I'll post an update for the next request session. I'm thinking I'll need a couple weeks before then, just to keep you all updated. Also I need time to make it as epic as possible ;)

Friday, September 2, 2016

A Sirius Black Baby Daddy -- Don't Go Changing


Character: Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter

OC: Viviana McBride, black pixie cut, green eyes, sarcastic

Inspiration: There’s some weird time gaps that I ignored in this story.  Just go with it ;)  Also I was going to use a younger pic of him but it felt treasonous to my HP fangirl self, so.  I couldn't do it.  I am taking Autumn requests this year as well btw.  Request sheet will be posted this month.  Check back as September progresses so you don't miss it!  And please hold off on sending in requests until you see the sheet on the blog.  I'm still gearing myself up for it :3


// Introduction //

From the very beginning, it had been hot and cold, slow and fast.  Kisses swept up in mutual desperation.  No words of love exchanged.
How could they be, when the world was going to fire around them?  Destruction and war had swept the country and Sirius was a fighter – he always had been.  She could still remember the worry she felt during every battle, the clinging fear that his luck would finally run out.  And it had, but not in the way she’d always thought it would.
“He’s out,” Albus gently tells her one night when the fire has turned to flickering coals in the grate.  The Order is a jumbled mess compared to the glory it had once inspired.  No one had anticipated Voldemort’s return and they are ill equipped to handle it.
Viviana jolts up at the sudden words.  She had not heard her old professor enter the dismal little kitchen.  The teacup she’s holding rocks a little too sharply and the scalding liquid splashes onto her fingers. 
Half asleep after yet another hopeless meeting with the dwindling Order members, Viviana turns to Albus with a confused glower. 
“Who’s out?” she asks, too preoccupied with mopping up her mess to notice the way Albus closely examines her from the doorway.  He waits until she’s done so as to avoid any further messes.
“Sirius,” he tells her when it’s clear that she won’t be spilling anything else.  Just as well he’d waited, because Viviana jolts again as she turns to face him, eyes wild and alert.  There is no trace of the sleepy melancholy that seems to permeate her every action these days. 
“Sirius?” she asks, then swallows tightly and frowns.  “He’s in Azkaban for life, Albus.  Are you saying he escaped?”
Her old professor just smiles and winks.
Viviana stands up with a clash of furniture.  The kitchen chair tumbles down to the floor and she vaguely thinks she should pick it up before Kretcher takes note of the ‘treacherous, disrespectful way she treats his Mistress’s house’.  Damnable house elf.
“Sirius is out?” she demands, her thoughts flipping from one to the next in rapid succession.  The man she loves is free?  How?  Better yet, where has he gone? 
Albus merely shrugs and rubs the side of his face with one tapered finger.  The news doesn’t seem to surprise him very much, but then again he’s had more time to process it.  Both of them know that Sirius is not the criminal the rest of the country thinks he is.  They know of his innocence.
Dumbledore smiles, “I suspect he is on his way to Hogwarts as we speak.  I thought I should let you know for when he returns here.  Perhaps some freshening up is in order?”  He eyes the dusty kitchen shelves with a critical but amused glance.
Viviana barks out a laugh.  “You’re putting me on cleaning duty?  You’re joking.”
But it’s fairly clear that he is not.  Though Albus has been known to partake in jokes now and then, this is not one of those instances.
“You mustn’t come to Hogwarts, Vivana.  It would be like pointing a finger to Sirius’s location.  The Ministry knows that where he is, you are.  Stay here and wait for him to come to you.  I’m sure it won’t be long.”
Albus places a hand on the painted black trim of the doorway and adds, “He could never stay away from you, after all.”
She watches him leave with her heart beating a mile a minute and can’t help but wonder if he’s right.  It’s been years since she’s seen Sirius.  Her feelings have not changed, but what of his?
She has no real need to worry, but that doesn’t stop her from doing so anyway.  Despite her efforts not to venture any further than necessary into the Black family house, she ends up spending most of her time cleaning as Dumbledore suggested.  It’s highly out of character for her to do so (both to obey anyone as well as clean in general), but sitting around doing nothing only makes her worry that much more.  So she keeps busy, and tries not to think about how she’s going to be seeing Sirius a lot sooner than expected. 
She’s in the middle of dusting off the counter tops while she waits for water to boil for her dinner when the sounds of voices begin to permeate through the house.  It’s out of the ordinary and she immediately stops what she’s doing to face the kitchen door.  She’s about to grapple out of her wand when she hears Remus’s familiar voice.  And Dumbledore’s.  Is that Mr. Weasley’s laugh?  And –
“Remus, you old fool, I should’ve known you wouldn’t go changing on me,” comes a muffled, painfully familiar sound.  So familiar that Viviana becomes a statue in the room, staring at the door with a confusing mix of joy and startling fear.  Because suddenly all the worries she’s pushed aside for weeks have come tumbling to the surface and she’s so afraid that Sirius won’t want her anymore –
The door swings open and Viviana jumps, throwing herself back around to face the counter with wide eyes.  Her chest is rapidly moving, shallow breaths spilling passed parted lips as she stares a hole into the scratchy wood counter below her fingers.
The voices suddenly stop and she grasps the edges of the counter so tightly that her knuckles turn bone white.  He is right here.  In the same room as her.  For the first time in nearly a decade.  Suddenly she wants to cry.
“…Vivs?” he quietly asks, and the sound of her nickname wrapped up in his familiar voice really does make her cry.  She lifts a hand to her face and clenches her jaw.  She wants to turn around and look at him but she finds herself frozen to the spot.
“Viviana,” he repeats, closer this time.  His voice is lower, softer, like a reverent breeze sweeping across a countryside dappled with sunlight.  He always did say her name like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
A hand is placed on her shoulder and slowly guides her to turn around.  She silently lifts her eyes to his and can’t stop the tears from clouding her vision.
“Sirius,” she whispers, and smiles, and laughs breathlessly, because he’s still so beautiful even though he looks older and wearier.  He brushes the wetness from her cheeks and chuckles.
“God, I missed you,” he murmurs, and sweeps her into her arms with a finality that she’s been waiting for.
She clings to him so tightly that it’s probably uncomfortable but he doesn’t complain.  He just holds her tighter too, matching her desperation as he buries her face into her hair. 
Over his shoulder, Vivana vaguely registers the fact that their little audience is now moving out of the kitchen and leaving them in peace.  Whether they are alone or not, it wouldn’t change the way she tips his head back and kisses him with an exuberance that’s been growing within her since the moment she heard he had escaped.
Sirius laughs against her lips.  It is the laugh of a man who has just received the one thing he’s been dreaming of for as long as he can remember, and it is beautiful.


// How It Happened //

Over the next few months, the Black manor is transformed from the dismal, depressing house it used to be into something full of laughter and love.  The Order has always used it as their headquarters but now it is used for more than just the occasional meeting.  The Weasley’s move in during the summer when The Burrow is threatened by Death Eaters, and even though it’s noisier and crazier than Viviana is used to, she loves it.  Molly is also a much better homeowner than she could ever be, and gets the manor is tip top shape within the span of a few short weeks.
With Sirius’s reentry into her life, so many things change.  If she had been expecting the whirlwind romance she’d gotten when they were both younger, Viviana is disappointed.  Sirius has changed from being the arrogant, headstrong boy to a more solemn version of his old self.  He has absolutely no problem with kissing her (whether they are alone or not, she notices), but has made no further moves to spark their old flame.  As a result, Viviana is partially relieved that he doesn’t expect anything from her as well as extremely frustrated with the slow pace.
She can’t not be attracted to Sirius Black – it’s in her very makeup.  From the first moment she’d met him all those years ago on the Hogwarts Express, she’d been severely attracted to him.  He isn’t the same man he’d been before.  Years in Azkaban has changed him.  But he is still magnetically charming and she soon finds that her physical feelings for him have not dissipated in the least.
If anything, they only grow stronger with every passing day.
The frustration reaches breaking point one evening.  It’s a rarely quiet one.  The Weasley’s returned to the Burrow for the night to regroup their belongings for the start of the next school year.  Molly and Arthur are with them, and as always they have herded Harry and Hermione along, forever treating them like surrogate children.  Kretcher is off doing whatever it is that Kretcher does in the evenings and so it is just Sirius and Viviana in the living room, quietly enjoying the strange new peace.
Until, that is, Sirius breaks it by hesitantly telling Viviana, “I asked Harry if he might consider moving in with us.  Spend the holidays here, you know?  Maybe even stay for a while after he graduates.”
Viviana is in the middle of turning a page of the book she’s reading when he speaks, and she’s halfway swept up in the story as she hums, “Mhmm.  That’s good of you.” 
There is a beat of silence before Sirius slowly asks, “Is it?” 
Viviana looks up.  He’s staring at her carefully, as if he hadn’t been expecting such an easy response.
She tilts her head and frowns.  “Sure.  Harry adores you.  Why are you looking at me like that?”
He chuckles and looks down at the book in his own lap.  In true ‘Sirius’ fashion, he hasn’t even opened it.  He’s never liked to read.  Azkaban apparently hasn’t changed that part of him. 
(She’s glad, at least, that he is still him even though he’s not.  That there are still parts of the old him that she recognizes.  That she hasn’t forgotten the little quirks that she loves so much.)
“Sirius?” she asks when he doesn’t readily answer her.  He’s usually so quick with his words, so willing to talk to her.  All this silence is making her worry.
But there’s nothing, really, to be concerned about.  Sirius sighs, a laugh edging over his voice, and says, “I just thought maybe I should’ve asked you before giving out an invitation like that.”
Confusion makes her furrow her brows.  She closes her book slowly and reminds him, “It’s your house, not mine.”
The words don’t seem to help though, because Sirius purses his mouth before suddenly pushing himself out of his chair and walking over to her.  He sinks down to his knees and rests a hand on her leg, looking up into her eyes with a sincerity that takes her breath away.
“What mine is yours, Vivs,” he tells her, voice scratchy with honesty.  It’s almost as if he’s trying to tell her something else, too, but she doesn’t want to get ahead of herself.  Hope is such a deplorably sad thing when it fails to deliver.
She sits up and wraps her legs around his form, giving him a little smile.  Her fingers thread through his thick hair.  It’s less shiny than it used to be but she still loves the way it feels against her fingertips.  He does too, it seems, because he sighs and tilts his head back, enjoying her touch.
“Sirius,” Viviana murmurs, catching his attention as their eyes lock together.  “What kind of person would I be if I got in the way of your reunion with your Godson?  Besides, this house needs more life to it.”
It’s probably the softness of her touch, the agreeableness of her words, the stillness of the house, that makes Sirius sigh happily and murmur, “I love you so much.”
It’s probably all of those things and more, but it is still enough of a shock to her that Viviana finds herself halting every movement to instead gape at him.  That’s about the time when Sirius realizes what he’s just admitted.
It shouldn’t be so surprising, she tells herself.  Of course he loves her – she already knows it without him having to say it out loud.  And of course she feels the same, she always has and always will.  But to hear it aloud is a beautiful thing and it forces all the pent up feelings she’s been harboring these last few weeks to boil over.
Sirius must not see them though, because he shifts back and swallows tightly, “Vivana, I – “
And Viviana, so tired of the waiting, jerks forward to halt his words with a messy kiss.  Sirius grunts but responds eagerly, clutching her legs and pulling her to the edge of the seat, running his fingers over the outside of her thighs and mumbling between kisses, “Mm…I really do…love you…Vivs…”
She laughs and breaks away to tell him, “I love you too, Sirius.  I never stopped loving you.” 
His only response is a crooked, relieved grin and a lurch of his body as he pushes himself up and onto the armchair.  She’s pressed back against it, huddled between the cushions and his body as he crawls between her legs and settles himself into the haphazard position.  Their mouths meet again and he tugs her head to the side to kiss her deeply, all but drinking her in as he shifts a hand over her shoulder and trickles his touch down her collarbone.
It’s the perfect night for falling from grace and Viviana isn’t going to take any chances.  They are gloriously alone for the first time in months and have the whole house to themselves for a good twelve hours at least.  So she doesn’t even hesitate when she reaches up and starts dragging her fingers over the buttons of his shirt, fumbling ever so slightly in her fervent eagerness to get his clothing off.
No – she is not the one who hesitates.  That job is Sirius’s.  For the first time since she’s known him, he actually pulls away to ensure that this is what she truly wants.
“Vivs, are you sure?  I mean, it’s been a long time – “
“I know it’s been a long time, Sirius,” she gasps impatiently, pressing haphazard kisses down his jaw.  She revels in the feel of his stubble scratching over her skin and moans at the intensity of her desire for him.  He always could make her want him with such little effort.
“God, it’s been way too long,” she admits, voice slightly breathless as she pushes his shirt off his shoulders.  He allows it, watching her with careful, half lidded eyes.  When she rakes her fingers down his bared chest, he shudders and careens over her, pressing into her space with all the familiarity of a long lost lover.
“Almost ten years,” he whispers, tracing her cheekbone with an almost idle finger.  It’s all very deceptive – there’s nothing idle about him, really.  His eyes are as alert as ever, perhaps even more so.  They are blown with pleasure and desire and she nearly moans again at the sight of them.
She chuckles.  “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, don’t you think?” 
His answering laugh is a stark mix of relief and need pushing together into a startlingly beautiful combination. 
“I think that big bed of mine would be a great backdrop to this particular mode of ‘catching up’,” he whispers to her, and barely gives her any warning before he’s standing up and lifting her into his arms.  He gives a dramatic, “Och!” as her weight settles atop him and she playfully smacks his shoulder with a gasping laugh.
“Take me to bed, Sirius,” Viviana murmurs once her laughter dies down, and he grins before responding with a smart, “Yes, dear.”
That one earns him another smack before she goes in for a kiss and forgets about his cheeky name calling. 
Somehow he gets them up half a flight of creaky stairs – mouths tangled and hands everywhere – before Sirius loses his grip on Viviana and they very nearly tumble to the ground.  It is a truly impressive feat when he manages to not fall down the stairs.  Frightening, too.  (They aren’t as young as they used to be.)
Viviana catches him around the neck and holds onto him for dear life before bursting out into laughter.  He quickly follows suit, leaning heavily against the railing and gasping, “Maybe we should just walk.  You’ve gotten heavier.”
She narrows her eyes at him, “Or maybe you’ve gotten weaker.”
A jaunty grin is sent to her as he tugs her up the remaining stairs.  “Touché.  Do you have any other insults before we reach my room?  I don’t plan on talking once we get there.”
Viviana laughs and nudges him up the last stair as she cheekily says, “I’m already sick of talking.”
He winks at her over his shoulder and nearly pushes her into the bedroom.  The door slams shut a little too loudly and they both freeze, waiting for the annoyed screams of that damnable painting to rattle through the house.  By some stroke of luck nothing happens and Sirius hums thoughtfully, glancing at Viviana with raised eyebrows.  It doesn’t escape her notice when he locks the door.
“Wellll,” she smirks, stepping backwards and fingering the hem of her shirt.  “Now that you’ve got me alone, what do you intend on doing to me?”  She hopes he hasn’t changed too much in this particular arena, but then again, she doesn’t care if he has as long as it’s him
He gives her a downright wolfish grin and steps toward her, herding her toward the bed.  She allows him to, knowing exactly what he’s doing and loving every minute of it.  That fierce smile does funny little things to her heart, which patters away in her chest the closer she gets to the bed.
He catches her around the waist before she can topple onto it and leans in to kiss her again, brushing her hands away from her shirt and replacing them with his own.  Still, he takes his time, kissing her with a sweetness that she doesn’t expect before slowly pulling her shirt away.  There is a reverence to his movements that’s extremely addicting.
“Let’s see,” he murmurs, thumbing over her abdomen.  His fingers trickle upward to her bra, which he slowly undoes as he thoughtfully muses, “I think I’ll start with getting you naked and see where it goes from there.”
Her heart splutters.  He takes her bra off.
“That’s a good plan,” she gasps as his hands capture her breasts.  God, she’s always loved those hands of his.  They’re slightly calloused and a little rough; the perfect combination.  When he pinches her nipples, she keens softly and tips her head back.  The way she bucks her hips against his is completely unplanned.  (Honest.)
He groans and her breath catches.  He’s so hard.  How has he gotten so hard in such a small amount of time?  But then she remembers – he’s been in Azkaban.  He probably hasn’t had sex in ages.  A deplorable thing, that.  Especially when the man in question is Sirius Black, the handsome, charming outlaw that could capture anyone’s heart with only a few choice words.
She’s going to make tonight amazing for him. 
“Lie down,” she says, pushing his hands off of her chest and spinning them both around.  Now he’s the one with his back to the bed and she fully intends on taking advantage of that lovely little fact.  Bedroom domination has never really been her forte but she’s changed too, over the last few years.  Time to show him just how much.
His entire face morphs into surprised desire.  The rawness of it makes her head spin for just a brief moment before she smirks and pushes him forcefully down.  He lands with an ‘oomph’ on the mattress, expression even more shocked as he stares up at her from a halo of dark hair.
“You’re being strangely commanding,” he notes in an almost dry voice.  Viviana isn’t fooled.  She can see his interest plain as day and knows he loves it.
She nudges his legs apart and stands between his parted knees.  Sirius lifts himself onto his elbows, never taking his eyes away from her as she starts to unbutton her jeans.
“You’re not complaining,” she comments breezily, pushing her jeans down her hips.  She catches her underwear and pulls them down at the same time.  Every inch of revealed flesh has his breath spinning out faster.
“I’d be a fool if I did,” he mutters, looking utterly mesmerized as she pulls the last of her clothes away and stands before him naked.  The raging hunger in his eyes is only a further reminder that Sirius desperately needs to get laid.  And soon.
Viviana edges a knee onto the mattress.  She trails one finger up his clothed leg, from knee to thigh.  He shivers when she gets closer to his erection and nearly groans when she completely bypasses it, instead moving her touch to the hem of his trousers.  With a teasing smile, she drifts her finger along the skin of his waist, tracing the line of his pants.
He stays extremely still, like he’s afraid that any sudden movement on his part will spook her into retreat.  (As if he ever could.)
She’s considering teasing him a little longer but when she sees the stark desperation glinting through his eyes, Viviana decides it isn’t worth it.  Not tonight, and not when she has plans for a different kind of teasing up her metaphorical sleeve.
She has his erection out of his pants in no time at all, having dealt with the zipper and button with a finesse she has long forgotten.  Sex hasn’t exactly been on her to-do list as of late.  She’s been too busy running from Death Eaters and helping the Order in whatever way she can to bother with polishing off her more carnal talents.  And to be honest, she’s never felt that it was right, to do such things to a man who is not Sirius.  The few times she gave in, she had struggled with the guilt for months and decided that one night of pleasure really wasn’t worth it.  But now…
Now, she is more than ready to set fire to the spark between them.  Especially when her body burns with a thunderous desire when she wraps her hand around the girth of him.
“Vivs,” he croaks, head falling back onto the mattress.  His hips buck up traitorously when she slowly drags her fingers from base to tip, and she has a sudden and probably treacherous need to have him buck into her mouth like that.  In fact, she finds that she’s never wanted anything more.
Far be it from her to reign in her self control.  Sirius has this tenacious ability to make her crazy in more ways than one.
When he feels the slick heat of her tongue swiping over his tip, Sirius shudders out a breathy moan that elicits all manners of suggestive memories from the recesses of her mind.  They used to be such animals, never able to keep their hands off each other.  It would drive Remus up the wall and make James laugh so hard at them and their ‘ridiculous, sex-driven antics’.  As if he’d been any better when Lily was around.
But – she pushes those thoughts away, resuming her focus on taking him into her mouth.  Those kinds of memories will surely dampen the mood and she has no desire to awake her sadness over her long lost friends.  Tonight is Sirius and her and this massive bed and the gloomy-but-somehow-perfect layout of his old bedroom.  Tonight is a resurrection of everything they were and everything they are now.
Her wish comes true mere moments after she’s got as much of his cock in her mouth as she can fit.  He lets out a strangled sort of half-moan and his hips lurch up without his consent.  The movement is anticipated, but he still manages to push himself further into her mouth than she expects because she gags briefly before taking a deep breath through her nostrils. 
He pushes himself back up onto his elbows with a startled, frenzied look in his eyes and blurts, “Sorry.  Christ – “ then his eyes lock with her and he moans again at the mere sight of his cock stuffed down her throat and groans, “You look so fucking hot right now, Vivs.”
With his erection blocking her words, she can only hum and crinkle her eyes in mischief.  That, of course, only makes him groan again as he reaches to tangle his hand in her hair.  She pumps him between her lips and wraps her hands around his thighs, pushing herself closer as if she cannot get enough of him – the taste and the feel of him, so hot and hard against her tongue and twitching with barely restrained desire –
“I’m gonna come if you don’t stop,” he gasps out, somehow managing to remain fully coherent.  His voice wavers with pleasure but it doesn’t rattle into the uneven tone she’d like to hear.  Guess she isn’t working hard enough.  No matter, that will come soon enough.
She releases him with one last vicious suck and licks over his tip for good measure (and also because she can’t possibly help herself; she’s always liked having him in her mouth).
“You want to be inside me?” she asks, sounding hoarse and breathless and wonderful.  Her lips are bruised and reddened and Sirius thinks that he’ll never tire from the sight of her between his legs and hopes he never has to.  War is a tricky thing and he’s all too aware of his mortality, so he decides to make the most of this moment and not let it go to waste.
He lets out a chortle of laughter that sounds dire with need and brushes his thumb over her cheekbone.  “Yes,” he says simply.  His erection twitches at the mere thought of her heat wrapping around him, so tightly, so beautifully, and he grins with a hunger that he never thought would be satisfied again.
Viviana doesn’t say anything else.  She doesn’t need to and doesn’t want to either.  Words are such silly things, strung together like sinking ships doing battle with invisible enemies.  There’s no room for enemies tonight and she longs for the silence of two lovers exalting in their own fulfillment.  So she merely sits up, pushes herself over his body, and leans down to kiss him.
He returns her kiss with a savage fury that nearly breaks her.  It takes all her energy not to let him dominate like he is wont to do.  Tonight she wants to pleasure him, to put him first, so she does.
Her hands wraps around him again and guides him inside her.  When his tip breaches her folds, she rocks her hips and takes him fully, sinking down onto him with a drawn out moan.  Sirius clenches his hands around her waist and kisses her all the harder, as if he is trying to take her inside him just as she is doing. 
They fall together onto the mattress as Viviana’s shaky thrusts gain momentum.  She plunges down on him, again and again as she drowns against his chest.  He grips her hard, arms tight around her and even though it’s slightly restricting, there is nothing suffocating about his proximity.  If anything, his desperation inspires her and she moves all the faster, moaning into his neck with an increased vigor that clearly matches the hasty rhythm of her thrusts.
Why had she ever wanted to tease his orgasm out of him again?  All she can think about now is tumbling fiercely down into the depths of their shared desire and letting it cleanse them. 
“Vivs – “ Sirius groans, bucking his hips up into hers.  His movements are uncontrollable now and she knows he’s close.  It is an instinctual feeling that rises up within her just as surely as her own end.  She hurries to meet him, desperate for her finish to shake her alongside his – and in her frenzied need, her fingers press against the top of her core to jumpstart her orgasm. 
He notices – of course he does, Sirius notices everything – and bats her hands away even in the midst of his delirious passion.  His fingers replace hers and he thumbs fierce circles over her clit, watching her face morph into pleasure as his touches jostles her more than her own ever could.
It’s enough to make her insane and she ends up coming with a shaky moan and a furious pump of her hips.  She grinds down against him in tight waves and he bucks her hips up with the force of his own end, garbling out a groan that sounds vaguely like her name.  It is so hot that she feels her entire body burst into pleasure and she collapses down against his chest with a ragged sigh.
His cock slips out of her.  She buries her face against him and revels in the slippery feeling of his finish dripping down her inner thighs.  She’s a mess and she loves it.
“I needed that.  Really badly,” Sirius muses with a chuckle that is strained from the course of their intense display.  He wraps his arms around her tightly and even though they’re both sweaty and in need of a shower, Viviana can’t bring herself to move even an inch.
Well, perhaps an inch.  She lifts her face to his and kisses him exuberantly, trying to express all of her love in that simple motion.  She’s sure that she succeeds because Sirius sighs happily against her mouth and tucks her closer, legs tangling together and fingers idly spinning through her hair and down the back of her neck.
“Mm…no offense, but I agree,” she whispers after a moment, winking cheekily at him before laying her head back down onto his chest.
He squeezes her playfully before laughing, and soon they are both gasping with a laughter that makes no sense but does at the same time – just like the rest of their crazy lives. 
“Love you,” Viviana mumbles to him, thoroughly enjoying the way his touch is now spiraling down her back.
Sirius pauses and quirks an eyebrow at her.  “What, are you tired?  I’m not finished with you yet so you’d better not fall asleep.”
The demand is so characteristic of his old self that Viviana laughs again and promises, “I’m all yours, Sirius.”  She means it in so many ways and knows that he understands every one of them.
He kisses her temple and whispers, “I love you too.” 
But he doesn’t really have to say it; she can feel it filling the space between them like so many hot air balloons drifting up into the recesses of an endless summer sky.


// How You Found Out //

There’s no good time to bring a baby into a world full of war and rebellion and it had never been Viviana’s intention to do so.  But she’s always been very aware of her own life and knows when something is off that very first morning weeks later, when she flies to the bathroom and sickness overtakes her.  There have only been a number of times when she’s been sick in the morning, and all those times involved copious amounts of alcohol and usually generous helpings of self pity.  No such things factor into this morning.
She’s intuitive enough to realize that this is something more than just a little stomach bug.
Sirius is too, because the moment she lurches from the mattress and throws herself toward the bathroom that connects to his bedroom, his expression settles on careful concern.
“You okay?” he gently asks, kneeling beside her and handing her a damp washcloth.  The way he rubs her back is downright maternal and she would have chuckled if she doesn’t feel disgusting.
Viviana frowns and rubs her forehead, flushing the toilet before she gets sick again just from the nauseating sight.  She takes the washcloth and drags it over the back of her neck.  The cold water that dampens it makes her feel a smidgen better.
“Yeah,” she responds, but inside isn’t sure if it’s the truth or not.  She’s a very healthy person, but then again even healthy people get sick.  She shouldn’t worry, she tells herself, but she can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t just a simple flu.
Instead of worrying Sirius, though, Viviana just gives him a grimacing smile and stands up.  He’s beside her in seconds, making sure she doesn’t fall.  This time, she does chuckle; Sirius can be sweet when he wants to be.  She’s glad his time in Azkaban hasn’t drained that part of him away.
“Come on, back to bed with you,” he says with a swift kiss to her forehead. 
“Ugh.  You go first, I want to brush my teeth before I get comfortable again,” she responds, wincing a little at the taste in her mouth.  She’s really glad when Sirius agrees and leaves her standing in front of the mirror alone, because she needs the silence to think.
The only thing she can come up with is the memory of her aunt getting pregnant with her younger cousin when Viviana was eight years old, and hearing her parents talking about the morning sickness and sore muscles.
She pauses, frowns, and reaches down to experimentally massage her abdomen.  It feels normal as ever and she laughs at herself.  She is being ridiculous.
But four weeks later when her period doesn’t come and the morning sickness is almost an everyday occurrence, Viviana knows that she is right.
She’s pregnant with Sirius’s child in the middle of war and there is nothing she can do about it.


// How You Told Him //

“You’ve been a little off lately,” Sirius comments idly when Viviana exits the bathroom a week or so later.  She’s wrapped up in a towel from her shower and her short hair is wild from the way she’d haphazardly dried it. 
She still hasn’t told him yet.
Viviana shrugs and raids his drawers for something to wear to bed.  Weeks before, he’d insisted that she just move into the bedroom with him and so she had, bringing in a collection of her clothes and even laying out her comforter on the bed.  Most of her things are already in the Black manor anyway, so it hadn’t been a big deal to change rooms.  (That doesn’t mean she hadn’t gotten plenty of whistles and teasing jabs from the twins, of course, but they’re nothing she can’t handle with a few friendly insults of her own.)
Still, despite the fact that half of Sirius’s drawers are now full of her own clothes, Viviana settles for one of his shirts instead.  It’s long enough to reach mid thigh on her and she knows that Sirius enjoys seeing her wear his things.  Something about manly pride, perhaps?  Or he just likes the revealing way it drags across her ass.  Actually, both of those reasons are probably true.
She knows he’s watching closely as she lets her towel drop and shuffles into the shirt.  She also knows that it makes him slightly crazy when she joins in him bed without bothering to pull on any underwear.  He shifts to the side to make room for her and gives her one of his charming, suggestive smiles.  But there is a glint of contemplation in his gaze that makes her aware that he isn’t fully distracted.
Sirius drags an arm around her shoulders and scoops her closer, pulling her against him with a sigh.
“You can tell me, you know,” he murmurs.  His voice is a low burr that makes her immediately stiffen, because there is a deliberately perceptive quality to it that seems almost as if…as if he doesn’t need her to tell him.  Like he already knows.
Impossible.  Sirius has always been brilliantly ignorant of the going ons of the fairer sex.
Viviana peeks up at him with narrowed eyes and he raises his brows at her.
“Come on, Vivs.  It isn’t like you to hold onto important information.  You’re shit at keeping things from me.”  He squeezes her around the waist as if to silently say that he’s only teasing, but she knows better.  Teasing though he might be, she can feel the resolution behind his voice.  There’s no getting out of this one.
“I’m not keeping anything from you,” she denies anyway, because she’s scared.  Scared of admitting to the one thing that frightens her more than anything in the world.  How can she be pregnant when Voldemort is at large?  How can she bring a baby into a world torn ragged with death and decay?
She bites her lip and mutters, “I’m just trying to wrap my head around it, that’s all.”
By now she knows that there is little reason to keep silent.  And besides, talking about it is making her feel so much better.
Sirius heaves out a sigh and tips his head back.  They’re both quiet for a long moment before he slowly says, “Remus told me everything a while back, Vivs.  I understand.  I was in Azkaban for so long, it’s only natural for you to look for comfort elsewhere.”
Viviana frowns and jerks her head toward him with a baffled expression. 
“Wait, what?” she demands, sitting up abruptly and staring him down from her perch on the bed.  Why is Remus coming into their conversation?  And then she realizes it.
And she bursts out into laughter.
Sirius stares, looking a little perturbed.  He sits up too and frowns at her.
“Remus?  Oh Lord.  This is too much,” she gasps, shaking her head.
His frown only deepens.  Now he looks annoyed and even a bit insulted at the way she’s reacting.
“Why are you laughing?” he asks, his dark eyes blazing fiercely.  He’s always been a prideful man and Viviana is definitely deflating some of it right now, but it’s really hard to stop laughing.
Somehow, she manages it and chuckles, “I kissed Remus once.  A long time ago.  Sirius, we never – I mean, it felt like I was kissing my brother.”  She gives him a lopsided grin that only serves to confuse him all the more.
“Wait…then what were you talking about before?” he demands, sitting up a little more as he stares at her from beneath a furrowed brow.
Viviana sobers up a bit at the question.  She supposes that he’s still extremely oblivious to females, because he looks completely lost.
She glances at his kicked-puppy face and sighs, crawling towards him and fitting herself between his propped up knees.  She puts her hands on them and clears her throat.  It’s now or never, she decides.
“Sirius.  I’m pre – “
The door bursts open.
“Did you tell him?  All that loud laughter – you’ve finally told him, haven’t you?” Hermione’s eager voice sounds.  Sirius peers around Viviana’s figure to stare at the young girl in surprise and Viviana groans and springs off the bed, walking toward the door with all the haste she can muster.  Not that it makes a difference. 
Hermione just babbles, “I mean, the fact that he didn’t realize that you’re pregnant is so ignorant when all the signs were so obvious.  Everyone else knew weeks ago – “
“Hermione, no offence, but I’m shutting this door on your face and I’m not going to apologize for it,” Viviana growls, and slams the bedroom door shut before locking it for good measure.
Christ.
She very slowly turns back to Sirius, only to find him gaping from the bed, so shocked that he can only stare at her.
She clears her throat and rubs her neck awkwardly.
“So.  I’m pregnant.  Surprise.”  She shrugs and walks to the bathroom because she needs to go do something, and even though she’s already brushed her teeth she figures it can’t hurt to do it twice. 
“Where are you going?” Sirius asks, demands more like, his voice a mixture of what sounds like aggravation and low arousal.  It makes her stop dead halfway to the bathroom and peek around to glance at him.  His expression is a stormy mess but she can see the joy in his eyes so clearly that is makes her grin shyly.  He fights a grin of his own and pushes himself up.
He’s beside her in a matter of moments, twirling her around to face him properly and dragging her into a kiss that leaves her miles behind.
Then he breaks it too suddenly and she’s grappling with dazed arousal.
“Wait.  Everyone else knew weeks ago?  Except me?” he inquires, frowning at her now.  He purses his lips and mutters, “You’ve got some explaining to do, Vivs.  And by explaining, I mean right after I ravish you so completely that you won’t be able to walk around come morning.”
Desire bursts through her at his choice of words and she groans.
“Yeah, okay – let’s do that,” she eagerly agrees.  Sirius laughs.  It’s one of those full bellied laughs that sounds so joyous Viviana wants to cry, but…
The time for crying and worrying and waiting is over.  They have their lives to live.


// Epilogue //

“REMUS!” Viviana yells.  Her voice is tinged with slight aggravation, but only a little.  She knows how sensitive he can be and makes an effort, these days, to tone her brashness down for the sake of her son.
“What?” Remus asks from the couch, glancing up at her with a raised eyebrow as he flips a page of the book he’s reading.  Viviana rolls her eyes.
“Not you,” she tells the grown man with a snort.  Honestly.  Why did she let Sirius convince her to name their son after their werewolf friend?
Remus shrugs and says, “Little Remus is in the backyard.  The twins are teaching him how to ride a broom.” 
Then he pauses and clears his throat, sinking further down into the couch in the Weasley’s living room.  Probably because he knows that he shouldn’t have said that.  Viviana has always been protective, but since giving birth to her son, she’s gotten a little…
“HE’S ONLY SIX YEARS OLD!” she screeches, and before Remus can answer she’s charging from the room like a bat out of hell.
Well.  Overbearing is perhaps an understatement, but she means well.
The moment Viviana is gone, Sirius pokes his head into the room and drawls, “Way to go, Rem.  She was doing so well, too.”
Remus gives his friend a chagrined look.  Viviana is like a mother bear when it come to her son and they all know it.  Relaxation is one thing that is foreign to her these days, no matter how compelling Sirius tries to be when it comes to forcing her to stop worrying all the time.
“Sorry?” Remus asks, looking altogether unsure as he buries himself back into his book.  Outside, he hears the (not so) faint sound of Viviana’s voice as she shouts at the twins.
Sirius sighs.
“I should probably go out there and help, right?” he asks his best friend.
Remus gives him a cringing look that Sirius copies a moment later when they hear Viviana’s voice get louder.
Remus clears his throat.  “Actually, I think – “
“You’re absolutely right, Rem,” Sirius cuts in, stepping backwards out of the room.  “You were always better at diplomacy anyhow.”
And before Remus can either agree or disagree, Sirius disappears.  It’s Remus’s turn to sigh.

~~~

5 comments:

  1. This is absolutely wonderful and I love you

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  2. Characterization of Sirius and Remus on POINT in this~and I adored the epilogue. Amazing job.

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  3. Really good! If I may request, would it be possible to do one based around a Halloween party for Steve Rogers? If you want to do a character, could you do Ammi Mastwense, dark copper hair, purple eyes, Italian (Thus will sometimes speak it), 23. Thank you, Devn (Yes, I'm female)

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  4. Well I see I need to keep up on the up keep a little more because I don't remember half the requests I made but....this is as always mind blowing so I guess I can't complain.

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  5. Love that you're still writing for this site. I prefer your epilogue to JK rowling's. The fan girl in me has always loved Sirius. Thanks for writing!

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